Nicole
AZ. 21, pre-pharm, puppy lover, boyf lover, vodka lover.

 are up to no good

"You didn’t see me, I was falling apart. I was a television version of a person with a broken heart."

   ~   The National (via laurenriveninetyeight)

(via writingsforwinter)

 1500 20th April 2014

The Neuroscience of Forgotten Love

writingsforwinter:

The left hemisphere of my brain still loves you.

The right side wishes it didn’t.

My grandmother collected my grandfather’s liver spots

like pepper flakes until the day he died-

even now I’m reminded of how we collect things

we already know will destroy us

because they feel good in our…

 1112 20th April 2014

Linguistics

writingsforwinter:

There are bullets embedded in my mouth that I have never fired.

All the words I ever meant to say but didn’t,

all the silences that played Russian Roulette with my tongue.

If I could go back and tell you anything, it would be this:

thousands of snowflakes together are responsible

for an…

"Stop. You can’t love me because you’re lonely, or because I am the only one who doesn’t piss you off. I want to piss you off, I want to get on your fucking nerves. I don’t want the responsibility of always being your rock. I will try, but I’m a mess, too. I lie, I sleep too much and I don’t like children under the age of 6, really. I don’t even know if I want kids because I’m selfish, and mothers can’t be selfish once they decide to carry another life.
I’m always looking for the rain to come so I trip over my own feet. I know exactly what the air smells like before a storm.
Before you fall in love with me, I want you to know that I cry a lot because it feels good, and I masturbate at least 4 times a week, and you might fall out of love with me before either of us are ready for it.
I have no experience with this. I’m trying to be brave and smart but its almost impossible to be both at the same time.
You can’t love me like a fire escape. Sometimes I will be the match, or the smoke under the door. I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is that we all catch fire sometimes, before we even get warm.
Before you fall in love with me, I want you to know that there’s a 50% chance that this won’t work, that one of us will wind up hating the other. I will try to keep your head above water, but sometimes I’ll need help, too.
I can’t be your savior, and I don’t expect you to be mine. Just watch me unfold and I’ll watch you unfold, too. We’ll get drunk and tell each other everything. I know that’s cheating but maybe it’ll be alright. Maybe we won’t wake up embarrassed.

I am going to fall in love with you, too, feet first. Maybe we’ll slow dance off a building together, maybe we’ll have forgotten each other’s names by this time next year. I don’t care, the sky is gray with or without you, so I’m not going to look up anymore, I’m going to look ahead ."

   ~   before you fall in love with me | Caitlyn S. (via alonesomes)

(via writingsforwinter)

 26914 20th April 2014

Being Okay with Aloneness

writingsforwinter:

Stop being so desperate for love. Like a broken bone, you have to let this want, this need, shift around inside you until it finds the right position to rest and mends itself.

But don’t clip its wings immediately. Let it bleed itself out gradually, slowly, so you can know what it feels like to be…

 2028 20th April 2014

The Last Three Times Love Left

writingsforwinter:

The first time love left, all the sterling silverware in the house tarnished

in a split second and I stayed in bed for two weeks straight.

The landlord eventually stopped calling to collect the overdue rent

and started calling to ask if I was alive instead.

But love’s departure left me a…

 1510 20th April 2014

Entomology

writingsforwinter:

There should be constellations named after the way

your body felt when it slid home into mine.

A great paleontologist once said that insects pressed in amber

are nature’s love letters preserved

like the string of fingerprints you left all over my skin,

a dusting so light a DNA sweep would…

 1284 20th April 2014

"Whatever I am, you did it."

   ~   F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Offshore Pirate  (via naomilku)

(via writingsforwinter)

 21196 20th April 2014

Wishbone

writingsforwinter:

As most couples do, we split apart, halved and quartered ourselves

into smithereens and mosaics of something

that was less like love, and more like salt.

We were thirsty for it, in the beginning.

Skin on skin, finding our ways into each other

like pit into the peach, like a knife drives home…

 1440 20th April 2014

"we split apart, halved and quartered ourselves into smithereens and mosaics of something that was less like love, and more like salt."

   ~   Writingsforwinter (via wildebeastcupcake)

(via writingsforwinter)

 1181 20th April 2014

If We Move in Together

writingsforwinter:

If we move in together, my heart is still yours,

but that doesn’t mean all my belongings have to be.

Privacy is the beetle’s husk, the moon’s rind, a tulip’s pollen,

my own skin. Our two halves of a home may touch and coalesce,

but when I need my space, let me have it,

stars, black holes,…

 1286 20th April 2014
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